Covid-19 and Beauty Supplies

Covid-19 and Beauty Supplies

Before you get your knickers in a twist (I've always loved that expression and waited this long to put it in my blog) please read this entire post.  Then you can argue the point and we'll enjoy a lively back and forth.

Essential supplies

During this pandemic, essential businesses remain open: supermarkets, pharmacies, restaurants for takeout, etc. For several reasons, I think beauty supply stores should be included on the list.

There're the practical reasons: it is where I bought the generous supply of gloves - latex and otherwise - that I have because I color my own hair.  In early March, I returned to my local beauty supply store and bought another box for myself and one for my parents. Now my Mom and Dad, in the suburbs and in their 80's, can protect their hands when they go to the grocery store.

Then there's the just as important mental side.  Most women feel better when they look good.  With hairdressers and nail salons closed indefinitely, we've got to take care of ourselves, and we cannot do it without products!

My 22-year-old daughter is coming over tomorrow because she needs some highlights in her beautiful curly hair.  This is a wonderful bonding exercise we engage in a few times per year.  Hair color is toxic.  One must wear gloves - and now a mask - to color hair.  With appropriate precautions,  there is zero chance that we will be exposed to each other's droplets.

 If men can buy items for their cars...

Finally, there is the feminist perspective, and I know this is the part where I'm likely to ruffle some feathers.

Stores that traditionally and still predominantly cater to men - gas stations, auto supply stores, liquor stores - are deemed essential and are open.  Why should Autozone be doing business when Dolly's Hair Essentials cannot?  In New York State, the sale of alcoholic beverages is considered essential. Why should alcoholics be permitted to self-medicate when all I want to do is make myself pretty?

Growing up, I always thought I would let my hair go gray.  I thought with good hair and good skin, a mature woman could look sexy.  Then I worked in television where gray hair on women is against the law.  I got used to coloring my hair and now I cannot stop.

Beauty is power and as everyone knows it takes a bit of effort and a lot of L'Oreal to put your best face forward. Zoom meetings have become an important part of working from home, but I wouldn't dream of doing one without the same effort I employed before leaving the house in the pre-COVID days.  Yesterday, I colored my hair and though I cursed the process and avoided it for days, today I feel like I can conquer the world.

Call me shallow.  I can take it.  My hair looks great! 

Who knows how long this misery is going to continue?  People don't congregate in a beauty supply store the way they do in a barbershop.  We go in, pick up products and leave.  I want to keep these stores in business.  I want to get personal advice on what strength developer would work best with the dye for my hair...and I want to look gorgeous.

Don't you want me to?

If you learned something useful in this blog please forward it to your friends, and if you sign up you can post a comment and I promise to reply!

Keep calm and carry on...Lori Bores

Almost Free New York: Easter???

Almost Free New York: Easter???: COVID-19 The New Normal Photo by  Kelly Sikkema  on  Unsplash My Roman Catholic Church on the Upper East Side of Manhattan - n...

Easter???

COVID-19 The New Normal

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

My Roman Catholic Church on the Upper East Side of Manhattan - not exactly a bastion of lefty political leanings - has canceled all Easter Masses. Yet our narcissistic President says he is imagining crowded churches on April 12 - a mere 2 and a half weeks away.

The only thing I may have in common with Trump is that I am not a scientist.  Catholic school in the 1960's was skeptical of science and I am embarrassed to admit I've never taken a biology class.  My public high school required just 1 year of science to graduate.  Groovy Earth Science was my ticket!

This is 2020, and over the years I have grown to respect and listen to scientists for a simple reason: they know much more than I do. Herein lies the problem.  Trump rejects the idea that anyone knows more than our perfect, tremendous, fantastic President.  

I stare in rapt revulsion as Trump, surrounded by his loyalists, holds daily briefings and shares his dangerous fantasies with the American people. His story changes with alarming rapidity.  This isn't leadership.  It's the boy who cried wolf - in reverse.  Trump says come gather at church.  The sheep dutifully obey, and the COVID-19 virus eats them.

Apologies for the mixed metaphors, but the point is this: Trump is a failed businessman and an accomplished liar. He's not worried about the virus because it will cull the herd.  Who cares if we lose thousands of old people?  They're too expensive and they don't work. Who needs the infirmed and disabled?  They also don't work - not good for my bottom line.  

If you can stand it, listen to this compilation of Trump's recent contradictions.

Trump

Meanwhile, here is what I am doing to contribute during our social isolation:

1) I live on the third floor of an apartment building with an elevator.  I carry a small spray bottle of isopropyl alcohol and I spray the buttons and knobs whenever I take my dog for a walk - at least 3 times per day. If you don't have rubbing alcohol, any disinfectant spray like Lysol, Clorox, fantastic, etc. will work. I posted a sign in English and Spanish in the elevator explaining this and inviting others to do the same.  This has been very well received by my neighbors!

2) If your budget allows, order take-out from your favorite locally-owned restaurant once-a-week or more.  I had a delicious burger and sweet potato fries for lunch today from Hilltop Park Ale House, which leads me to...

3) Give blood. Supplies are low and must be replenished regularly.  I usually don't have enough iron in my blood, hence the burger mentioned above! I will eat meat this Friday.  I trust Jesus will understand 🙏

4) If you are lucky enough to have help, pay them to stay home.  Consider it long-overdue vacation time.

5) Again, if your budget allows, buy a gift card from a local small business.  They are strapped for cash and you can make a dent in your holiday shopping!

6) Most importantly, use technology to check in often with the people you love. I've got my parents in their 80's doing Facetime.

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.  I feel much better now!  I keep coming back to God (or your higher power or the universe) doesn't give more than you can handle.  We are stronger than we think.

If you learned something useful in this blog please forward it to your friends, and if you sign up you can post a comment and I promise to reply!

Keep calm and carry on...Lori Bores

I leave you with this much- needed classic from the Five Stairsteps...enjoy!

Ooh Child

Almost Free of Trump - Part 2

Women's March 2017

I was wrong back in October when I honestly believed that it was time to elect a female president of the United States.  Actually, the majority of voters agreed with me, but the Electoral College, which was designed precisely to prevent a dangerous egomaniac from assuming the office, failed to do its job.

So we are stuck with Donald Trump - at least until he does something so egregious that he is impeached.  Frankly, I don't know what that could be since we already know he doesn't pay taxes, sexually assaults women and hates immigrants.

Almost Free New York: 7 Ways to Save Big Bucks in 2017

Almost Free New York: 7 Ways to Save Big Bucks in 2017: 7 simple ways to save big bucks in 2017 Many of us have resigned ourselves to the fact that Donald Trump simply cannot keep his promise. ...

7 Ways to Save Big Bucks in 2017

7 simple ways to save big bucks in 2017

Many of us have resigned ourselves to the fact that Donald Trump simply cannot keep his promise. Unions are what made a thriving middle class in America and I suspect the death of unions is something Trump celebrates.  Automation is another inarguable fact that our President-elect does not acknowledge.  We grownups have learned that a problem must be named before it can be solved. We've strapped ourselves in because it's going to be a bumpy ride.  See you in D.C.

However, thanks to technology and good old-fashioned resourcefulness, there are a number of ways to save significant money in 2017 to partially offset the continuing war on the shrinking middle class.

1. Cut the cord 

How much money do you spend on your cable bill?  $150 per month? $250 per month??  When mine was approaching $300 per month (and I was moving) this former television producer  finally made the decision.  I was nervous, but more than 2 years later I can honestly say I do not miss anything and I have saved a serious bundle.

Mohu HD antenna

You will make an initial outlay of as little as $29.99 for a Roku to stream programs and $49 for an HD antenna (I bought mine from Mohu). Then I subscribed to Netflix (movies and original programming) for $7.99 per month, Hulu (almost everything one day after broadcast) for $7.99 per month, and later Sling (for sports and news)  at $19.99 per month. So after my initial investment of less than $100, my monthly "cable" bill is $33.97 per month! I "borrow" the codes for HBO and SHOWTIME from my cable paying parents (thanks, Mom & Dad).  HBO GO, which shows HBO content 1 day after it appears on HBO, allows up to 3 people to "share" codes. Ditto for SHOWTIME Anytime.  See my previous post Cut the Cable for more details.

2. ditch your old hard wired phone

Full diclosure:  I still pay $60 per month to TimeWarner, now Spectrum, for a hard-wired phone (and wireless service) because with my MS I (foolishly) believed I needed a FAX machine to deal with all the medical paperwork.  Over the holidays, my 26 year old son looked at me incredulously and said, "Mom, just scan it and email it." 

The phone only rings w/ robocalls and this week, I'll be happy to ditch it!  I'll let you know how Spectrum figures out a new way to overcharge, but by my calculations this should cut my bill in half.

3. change every light bulb to an LED

About a year ago, I made a bet w/ my Dad, who lives in a typical, suburban 3 bedroom house.  I replaced all of his light bulbs w/ LED or CFL bulbs for one month.  If his electrical bill wasn't reduced he wouldn't have to pay for the bulbs.

In 1 month, his electrical bill was reduced by almost $10!  Again, it requires an initial outlay to buy the bulbs, but they last forever and you will never have to replace another light bulb.  LED's/CFL's are costly, so I recommend waiting for a sale at target, taking careful inventory of what you need, and start saving big time.  For more tips, see my post Save Money, Save the Environment.

4. make every credit  card purchase with at least 2% cash back, preferably 5%

Many of you feel the way lots of credit cards change their rewards every quarter is a pain.  Fair enough, but if you don't want to do the little stickers every 3 months, just get yourself one of the 2% cashback cards. I have one from Citibank, and there are others, like Fidelity Rewards Visa Signature. Google 2% cash back credit cards. We're talking about potentially thousands of dollars a year! 

5.  bring your lunch to work once or twice a week

This is one of the good, old-fashioned resourcefulness tips.  When I was a child, my Mom used to make lunch for my Dad (who was in a union) to take to work every day. Going out to lunch is often social, and ordering in is certainly convenient, but this year why not try bringing a sandwich or yogurt and a piece of fruit for lunch a couple of times per week?  Pack it the night before while planning your outfit and maybe take a walk with your co-workers after lunch,  You will save money and be healthier!

6. call your insurance broker to find discounts on bundling, safe driving, taking teenagers off your policy, etc.

Insurance is especially competitive and especially if you have been w/ the same broker for years, it would be worth a friendly call to see if you can reduce your bill.  Raising your deductible is a classic money saving strategy, as is dropping collision coverage if your vehicle is more than 3 years old.  I get a discount from Travelers because I insure both my car and my apartment w/ this company.  Take a 1 day safe driving course for more discounts.

5% cashback

7. get an Amazon Store credit card

This is brand new and seriously recommended.  This year for the first time, I did all of my Christmas shopping online.  I realized that I bought almost everything online from Amazon.  With the Amazon Prime store card, you get 5% back on everything!  You can only use it on Amazon, but isn't that where most of us begin our shopping search?  OK, maybe Google first, but usually all online shopping roads lead to Amazon, so why not get 5% back on the bluetooth speaker you bought for your crazy uncle?

If you learned something useful in this blog please forward it to your friends, and if you sign up you can post a comment and I promise to reply!

Keep calm and carry on...Lori Bores

 

Almost Free New York: 10 Almost Free things to do in New York during the...

Almost Free New York: 10 Almost Free things to do in New York during the...: 10 almost free things to do in New York during the Holidays Honestly, I think many of us are still reeling from the US presidential elec...

10 Almost Free things to do in New York during the holidays.

10 almost free things to do in New York during the Holidays

Honestly, I think many of us are still reeling from the US presidential election. In my other life as a successful AirBnB host, I was puzzled to have had no guests during November and I suspect it may be because the rest of the world is afraid of what we Americans have done. I am, too, but I remain an optimist.

As President Obama (and Annie) said, the sun will come out tomorrow...and as I say, there are still fantastic things to do for free in NYC!

Ice skating at Bryant Park - from October 29, 2016 to March 5, 2017, there is free ice skating in Bryant Park in midtown Manhattan at 42nd Street.  Bring your own skates and the rink is free from 8am to 10pm daily. You will pay $20 to rent skates and $28 to skip the line ($35 online) but plan an "offpeak" weekday skate and the ice is yours!  Bring a lock for your stuff.  They are lighting their tree on December 2 this year.

Rock Center Tree - at Rockefeller Center the skating is not free but the Christmas Tree lighting is. This year, the gorgeous 94 foot Norway Spruce lights up on November 30th. Watching the event is free and the limited space will only accommodate those who come early. Pick a place at the Channel Gardens together with your family, friends and watch the star studded show. 

Window Shopping - my perennial favorite is the Lord & Taylor holiday windows but there are so many to choose from: Saks, Barney's, Bloomingdale's, Cartier, Bergdorf Goodman, Henri Bendel, etc.,etc. I challenge you to spend the day window shopping in NYC during the holidays and not finding your smile.  Bring a thermos of hot chocolate with you!

Trains @ Grand Central Station- you know about the big boy (and girl) trains, but during the holidays, NYC Transit Museum Gallery Annex sets up an impressive and free model train exhibit that is not to be missed!  This year, it runs from November 14 to February 2017.

Visit Santa @ MACY's - I have many fond memories of taking my children to see Santa when they were young, and I confess a certain nostalgia for the old-fashioned mechanical elves.  My then 4 year old son looked at me with a knowing look and said, "Those are pretend elves, Mom.  The REAL elves are making my toys!"

The exhibit is updated now, with a fantasy train ride and digital displays to determine who's naughty or nice.  The kids will be entertained to help them tolerate the long lines, but again, try to go offpeak - weekdays during school hours and early in the season.

Union Square Market - If you are looking for a seriously unique gift, for yourself or someone you love, you cannot do better than from one of the hundreds of small vendors and artisans that populate NYC's outdoor markets.  I don't know which I love more, but the one at Union Square is very popular.  There is also one at Bryant Park and at the edge of Central Park by Columbus Circle.  It's free to look and you might find something irresistible!

Chelsea Market - Brooklyn's Artists and Fleas independent designers have set up shop here, conveniently right at the lower edge of the Highline. the city's most popular (and free) tourist destination.

Finally, as we must't forget the reason for the season, explore your spiritual side with a visit to Trinity Church, where Alexander Hamilton is buried, and to St. Patrick's Cathedral.  They will be decorated for Advent until December 25th, and in Christmas glory thereafter. Enjoy the season!

If you enjoyed this blog, please pass it along to a friend!

Keep calm and carry on...Lori Bores

Almost Free from Trump

Almost Free from Trump

After the last few days of appalling political brawling - and much needed comic relief  from Lin-Manuel Miranda on Saturday Night Live - I have reached the depressing conclusion that if you still hold the "anyone but Hillary" position in this scary election you are clearly and simply a misogynist.

Not that there is anything simple about misogyny.  Maybe Donald Trump hates his mother.  Maybe his two divorces didn't teach him that there are two people in a marriage.  Or maybe he is a spoiled, rich kid who is used to controlling everything he touches, including human beings.

Donald Trump disrespects women, plain and simple.  He is like a snotty 13 year old bully in a 70 year old man's body. He brags about sexually assaulting women because he is a celebrity.  Do we have amnesia about Bill Cosby?  Or is Trump somehow less despicable because he is white?

Trump uses women to make money with his beauty pageants, then degrades and verbally abuses them, not unlike a pimp. He brags in debates about the size of his penis and introduces young children to a whole new meaning of the word "pussy."  A master of subtlety he is not.

How many times did Martha Raddatz and Anderson Cooper have to tell Trump to stop interrupting or that his time was up?   Do we really want a President and Commander-in-Chief who cannot control his own mouth?  Can we trust such a volatile man with the nuclear codes?

To the Bernie fans, I say thank you for fighting the good fight and moving Hillary to the left: on college tuition, health care, taxes, etc.  Hillary heard you. This is how politics is supposed to work.  After your success, sitting out the election as a protest is a foolish and dangerous option.

The bottom line is one of these people will be the President of the United States.  How will you explain to your grandchildren that you didn't like either of the radically different candidates in 2016 so you took the coward's way out and didn't vote?

White, working class men are very angry.  I get it.  Unions, that created the middle class, the American Dream and really made this country great, have been all but destroyed.  Sadly, Donald Trump is not going to bring them back.  Quite the opposite.  Trump hasn't built anything since 1986, and the Trump "brand" is produced almost exclusively overseas in China, India, Bangladesh, wherever wages are low and workers are dirt poor.

If Hillary were a man, there would be no question about her solid qualifications for the job: experienced lawyer, 8 years in the White House, twice elected Senator, Secretary of State.  On the other hand, if  Trump were a woman,  he'd be dismissed as unqualified: a series of bankrupt businesses, a litigious braggart and no political experience,

It's an old story with a creepy new twist.  Women can do everything men can do, but like Ginger Rodgers, backwards and in heels.  Only this time, Donald's lead is downright dangerous.  And the dance is making us look foolish on the world's stage.

Female heads of state have been elected and serve all over the world: Great Britain, Germany, India, Israel, the Philippines, etc. It is clearly time for the United States.  It is clearly time for Hillary.

If you like this blog, please follow it, comment, and forward this to your friends...I promise to respond.

Keep calm and carry on...Lori A. Bores

Almost Free Theater - 2

In response to a request from my Aunt Rosie, whose grandson is coming to NYC with his girlfriend, I think it's time to review the way to get off price theater tickets.  Broadway has been reinvigorated by Hamilton, and it's time for an update!

There are lots of ways to get lower priced tickets, but it will take some planning.  In no particular order, I recommend:

Playbill the theater magazine, which recently updated its list of lotteries, SRO's and student rush tix. Lotteries have become an increasingly fun way to get tickets for those of us who live in and around NYC.  Even though I was very lucky to see Hamilton with my son when it was still at the Public Theater, my mother and my boyfriend have not seen it so every morning I wake up, have my coffee (essential) and enter the daily lottery.

Most people know about the TKTS booth, operated by the Theater Development Fund, which sells day of tix at half price.

You must wait on line, but you are rewarded with a half price ticket on the day of the show. Booths are located in Manhattan in the Theater District, at the South Street Seaport, and in Brooklyn. *A new TKTS booth has just been added at Lincoln Center at the Atrium on 62nd Street.* Check the link to get hours of operation and remember the earlier you get there, the better your chance of getting the show you want.
While you are on the TKTS site, be sure to check if you qualify for TDF membership. You may be lucky enough to get deeply discounted tix with no lines and you can buy them in advance.  Here's a list of eligible people:

• Full-time students (high school or above)
• Full-time teachers (primary or junior high school faculty, high school faculty, university or college faculty, teachers of drama/dance/music)
• Recent graduates (26 years of age and under)
• Full-time union members
• Retirees (no longer working and at least 62 years of age or older)
• Full-time civil service employees
• Full-time staff members of not-for-profit organizations
• Full-time non-exempt employees (full-time hourly workers - 40 hours a week - who are eligible for overtime pay)
• Full-time performing arts professionals
• Members of the armed forces
• Freelancers
• Full-time clergy

An annual membership fee of $34 gets you tix to Broadway, Concerts, dance events, Off Broadway and Off Off Broadway for $9 - $47.  I've been a member for more than 30 years and I've seen amazing performances.  Check out my last blog Almost Free Theater (August 3, 2015) for more theater tips!

I'm looking for your favorite money saving ideas! Sign up to receive this blog by email or follow me so I know how to reach you.

Keep calm and carry on....Lori

Happy (French) Independence Day!

Happy (French) Independence Day!

I had the best intentions to publish this on July 4th.  I am guilty of enjoying these lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. So let's celebrate Bastille Day (July 14), shall we?  At least France is still in the European Union...

Just finished  reading Gloria Steinem's latest book My Life on the Road.  In it, she talks about an unfinished project she had hoped to accomplish: a book with her friend Wilma Mankiller, the great Native American organizer.  Wilma died before the book could come to fruition.  Gloria hoped Wilma would "pass on her gift for creating independence."

Saving money is one of the surefire ways I know of creating independence.  It is in your hands. So let's go!

I Left Aaron Sorkin Speechless!

With the buzz swirling around Steve Jobs, the movie based on Walter Issacson’s biography of the brilliant yet narcissistic founder of Apple, it was a priviledge to attend a screening organized by my union. The successful screenwriter Aaron Sorkin and I both belong to the Writer’s Guild of America, and frankly, that may be where the similarity ends.   Once upon a time I penned words for Diane Sawyer and Sam Donaldson on PrimeTime Live, but that was another lifetime ago. 

Aaron Sorkin

Sorkin was going to engage in a Q&A after we screened his latest film, so this was my second chance to ask him a question. I blew it last time when Sorkin did a Q&A after screening  the Social Network, another brilliant, rapid-fire tome that makes writer’s like me throw up our IPads and search for a dog walking job. I was intimidated by the master wordsmith’s presence and unsure of what to say, but I was younger then.  This time I was not going to throw away my shot.

Sitting in the front, I shot up my hand and was the first person called.  I said, “I loved this film but I don’t have a question about it. I’ve waited a long time to say this.  I want to thank you for the West Wing.  I have multiple sclerosis and for years in our support groups, we complained about the need for a poster child, ala Michael J. Fox with Parkinson’s disease.  Someone with an unpredictable affliction, but who still gets up, takes the nasty drugs and gets on with it. Then you gave President Jed Bartlett MS.  Fiction or not, I don’t think we could have asked for a better role model.”

Almost Free Theater!

Many of you want to see a Broadway show when you come to NYC and I don't need to tell you how frighteningly expensive this pursuit can be.  Still, a live show is an unforgetable experience and those of us who are lucky enough to live here have found several ways to "never pay retail."

By now most people know about the TKTS booth, operated by the Theater Development Fund.

You must wait on line, but you are rewarded with a half price ticket on the day of the show. Booths are located in Manhattan in the Theater District, at the South Street Seaport, and in Brooklyn.  Check the link to get hours of operation and remember the earlier you get there, the better your chance of getting the show you want.

10 Almost Free Things to do in New York

10 Almost Free Things to do in New York 

I moved last year to what we affectionately call "Upstate Manhattan."  Washington Heights had a scary reputation in the 80's but things have changed radically and it is now a very friendly, safe, family neighborhood  The 2008 Tony Award winning musical "In The Heights" is composer (and my son's 7th grade substitute English teacher(!)) Lin-Manuel Miranda's love letter to the neighborhood he grew up in and still calls home.

sunset in Washington Heights

So I thought I'd start this invitation to visit New York with a Northern focus.  Fort Tryon Park and the Cloisters are really the jewel of this neighborhood.  The Cloisters feature art and architecture from the Medieval era and a reconstructed monastery,  You can easily transport yourself back to the days of Romeo and Juliet!  The Cloisters are part of the Metropolitan Museum of Art and admission to one gets you same week admission to the other. The suggested entrance fee is pricey - $25 for adults, $17 for Seniors, $12 for students, under 12 free - but remember this is a recommended price.  You can (and should if you need to) pay less.

A New Computer!! 

Is your computer so slow you want to throw it out the window?  Are you delaying cutting the cable cord because you think your computer cannot handle it?  I am about to rock your world.

Crucial, a computer hardware company I discovered a few years ago, offers DIY memory upgrades that couldn't be simpler, even if you are less than confident about your computer skills.

Full disclosure here:  I frequently blame the type of nerdy guys I wouldn't date in high school  - we used to call them the AV (audio/visual) nerds - for all the unfriendly computer stuff out there.  It can be very intimidating. 

Cut the Cable

Cut the Cable

Happy New Year!

If you have decided to save significant money in 2015 - about $100 per month - read on... 

As many of you know, I am a former television writer/producer and an incurable news junkie, so this was not a decision I made lightly.  But a monthly cable/phone/internet bill that approached $300 was enough to spur me to explore the alternatives.

In my old apartment I had Verizon's FIOS and loved it. After years of TimeWarner unreliability, I was thrilled when FIOS finally was available in my old neighborhood on the Upper East Side.  I think I was the first one to sign up for the service and when they finally got it right, I was very happy.

Then I moved to my new apartment in Washington Heights and FIOS was not available.  Instead of going back to TimeWarnerCable, I decided it was time to take the plunge.

The Blessings of MS - Part 2

The Blessings of MS - Part 2

The very last thing I would have expected to be doing on a biting cold day in the middle of November is sailing on the Hudson River!  At my weekly swimming class, Val the instructor mentioned an email she'd received about an organization called SailingSclerosis - Oceans of Hope.  My friend Dodie and I jumped right on that bandwagon and poof!  There we were, getting on a boat for a a fabulous adventure.

SailingSclerosis.com is an amazing foundation founded by a Danish physician, who wants to change the perception of this wacky disease.  Their boat is sailing around the world with a crew of people who have MS but are determined to keep doing, keep learning, keep truckin' (sorry Dead fans, couldn't help it)!

Beware of Men Who Make Less Money Than You Do

Never Marry A Man Who Makes Less Money Than You Do

$$$

You never knows what life is going to throw your way.  After more than 30 years living in the same neighborhood, most of them in the same building, I've just moved to a dramatically different place in New York City.  From a 3 bedroom, 3 bath doorman coop on the tony Upper East Side (where all the good public schools are) to a 2 bedroom' 1 bath pre-war Washington Heights rental (one UES shopkeeper thoughtlessly & erroneously called it "the ghetto") I could have gotten whiplash from the speed that landed me here!

But since I always try to look on the bright side, I'm going to share with you the view outside my living room window last night...

Not too shabby, eh?

I really love my new apartment, but uprooting and downsizing in three weeks is very difficult.  On the list of stressful life events, moving is #1 - above divorce, above a death in the family.  That's because one's entire frame of reference is thrown into chaos.  You don't know where anything is and for an admitted OCD like myself, this is truly hell!

I tried everything I could to stay put, from getting a mortgage to buy out my ex-husband, to hosting students in my son's empty bedroom.   My ex, the father of my two children, was not going to allow me to have anything that he didn't have, never mind that I have MS and had retired from my job to take care of myself and my children.

I am not going to tell the whole sad story - I may write the book someday - but I have learned something valuable that I am compelled to share now: 

 Never marry a man who makes less money than you do!

There was a time not long ago when this wasn't even a possibility.  Women didn't work, and men knew that to get the girl, they had to show her family that the suitor could support the daughter in the manner to which she had become accustomed.  

Happily, times have changed.  Women who work hard and play their cards right can earn responsible positions that pay well.   Some things, however, have not changed.  Men still measure their worth by their paycheck and compare themselves accordingly.  Size matters.

So if you make more money than he does, he doesn't want you, my dear.  He wants your money.

It makes me very sad to report this.  As a young feminist, I believed that women could do anything and that enlightened men would not feel threatened by our success.  I still believe women can do anything, but even enlightened men still have that stubborn double x chromosome and testosterone to boot.  It's all about measuring up.  They just can't help it. 

My wise boyfriend says, "men are simple creatures, like dogs.  Feed us, rub our bellies a little and we're good!"  This truism puts women in the driver's seat, but you have to steer the car - or train the dog, if you prefer the canine metaphor.  As Oprah reminds us, you teach people how to treat you.

If you run after a man, you've taught him that he doesn't have to make an effort to pursue you.  If you don't ask for help with housework or cooking, you've taught him he doesn't have to do any.  And if you marry a man who makes less money than you do, you've shown him that he has nothing to offer ...except, of course, for sex, the even bigger male must have.

Women know how irresistible a cute guy with a slow hand can be, but when the sex cools down - and it most likely will - you're going to be stuck with a very angry man with zero confidence and a terrible self image.  After all, he married a woman who makes more money than he does.

Please don't do it.

Swift Thrift  - Down the Drain                     

The bathroom drains in my new apartment were very, very slow.  The sink has one of those weird faucet/drain combos that cannot be separated, so the stopper cannot be removed.   I did the baking soda & vinegar "volcano" but it didn't help the sink or the bathtub.  I was about to put it on the long list of issues I had to speak to my new super about.  Then on one of several trips to the hardware store, I picked up a $3.99 piece of plastic called a Zip It.

I later found it on sale at Home Depot for $2.48.  This long piece of plastic w/spikey bits fit right down into the sink drain and pulled up the most disgusting glob of hair. Another little volcano and poof!  I had the fastest drain in NYC!  Fantastic and so inexpensive.  Save the cost of a plumber for something positive, like a new bathroom!

If you enjoyed this blog, please forward it to a friend.  I'd love to hear what you think and I promise to respond to any comments you care to share!  Looking forward to hearing from you...

Keep calm & carry on...Lori.

Summer Streets

First the fun stuff:  NYC's Department of Transportation has announced it's Summer Streets program, which closes Park Avenue on 3 Saturdays (August 2, 9 & 16) from 7a - 1p from the Brooklyn Bridge to 72nd Street for bicycle riding.  Free helmets will be given out @ 25th & Park Avenue, what's being called

the Midtown Rest Stop.  Plus, the DOT has scheduled Weekend Walks in all 5 boroughs.  For more info visit Summer Streets

Staying Cool

While you are enjoying all the outdoor activity, I have to share w/ you some of my low cost secrets for staying cool.  I've learned all about this because as most of you know I have MS and heat is not our friend.  So, short of staying inside in air conditioning all summer - which by the way is tax deductible for people w/ MS - here are some of my favorite ways to stay cool:

Dancing w/ Debt

Dancing w/ Debt   

Money is so fraught w/ emotion.  Marriages work or don't, families become enemies, and friendships are broken because people fail to get how important are their feelings about money.  It is a rare individual who feels satisfied w/ the amount of money he or she has amassed, and financial matters control so much of our lives: where we go to school, where we live, who we marry, etc.

One of the purposes of this blog is to help you get control of your financial life, but I want to stress that in my opinion, the success of your life does not depend on how much money you make.  Money is a tool.  It's what you do with it that matters,